Letting Our Furry Friends Choose: Building Confidence and Happiness in Dogs

A happy dog has always been my priority. Since I’ve started dog sitting and have new dogs coming into my home regularly, it's become even more important to me. For many of these dogs, it’s their first time away from home, and that can be overwhelming—especially if the dog was a rescue and has already experienced feelings of abandonment. As pet parents, or in my case, caregivers, we often take on the role of leader or "boss" in our furry companions' lives. We decide when they eat, when they go for a walk, and even where they sleep. While structure is essential for a dog's well-being, it's also crucial to strike a balance that allows our dogs some degree of autonomy. Having the freedom to make their own choices can not only be mentally stimulating for your dog but also enriching, leading to a whole bunch of good feelings for your dog and positively impacting them in numerous ways, including their confidence, trust, and bond with you. I use these techniques with the dogs I board and care for, and it’s incredible how quickly they settle into my home and feel good about being here. Let’s explore how we can be less bossy and give our dogs the freedom to make their own choices, leading to happier, more confident pets.

Why Are Humans So Bossy with Their Dogs?

It's natural for humans to be bossy with their dogs because we feel responsible for their safety and well-being. From the moment a dog enters our home, we take on the role of their caregiver. This often means setting rules and boundaries to ensure they integrate well into our lives and society. However, this well-intentioned control can sometimes stifle a dog's natural behaviours and needs.

Giving Dogs the Freedom to Choose

Allowing dogs to make their own choices doesn't mean letting them run wild. It means providing opportunities for them to express themselves within safe and structured environments. Here are some ways to give your dog more autonomy:

Offer Choices in Everyday Life

Treats: Instead of always giving your dog the same thing, offer them a choice between two different types of high-quality treats. This not only adds variety to their diet but also gives them a sense of control and is a very yummy game for them.

Walks and Exploration: During walks, let your dog choose the direction occasionally. Allow them to sniff around and explore at their own pace. This can make walks more stimulating and enjoyable for them. If your dog knows the area well, let them choose the whole route. You’ll learn their favourite sniff spots well! This also gives your dog control over the length of the walk. Maybe they’re just down for a quick 20-minute sniff, or maybe they have a lot of sniffing to catch up on and want to wander for 45 minutes. If you satisfy what your dog is looking for, they’ll be much happier when you get home.

Playtime: Provide a variety of toys and let your dog decide which one they want to play with. Rotate toys regularly to keep things interesting. If your dog brings you a toy, reward them with some playtime. This will help affirm their good choice of choosing to bring you a toy to play with rather than sneaking off with a slipper.

Resting Spots: Instead of dictating where your dog should sleep or rest, offer multiple comfortable spots around the house and let them choose their favourite.

Encourage Natural Behaviors

Scent Work: Dogs have an incredible sense of smell and love using it. Hide treats around the house or yard for them to find. This encourages their natural foraging behavior and provides mental stimulation.

Chewing: Provide a variety of safe chew toys and bones to satisfy their natural chewing instinct. This can prevent them from chewing on inappropriate items, like your shoes or that one spot on the couch they seem to think is particularly tasty.

Respect Their Preferences

Social Interactions: Not all dogs enjoy the company of other dogs or people. Respect their preferences and don't force them into situations that make them uncomfortable. Allow them to approach new dogs and people at their own pace. Your dog feeling seen and heard in these situations will strengthen their trust in you and make your bond unbreakable.

Alone Time: Just like humans, dogs need alone time to relax and recharge. Ensure they have a quiet space where they can retreat when they need a break, and that includes a break from the smaller humans in the house. It’s important for younger members of the family to know when to leave the dog alone.

Touch and Affection: Watch your dog’s body language. Do they pull away when you pat their head, or lean into it? Some dogs prefer butt scratches. Recognizing your dog’s preferences and adjusting your physical interactions with them to better suit them will make for a happier dog.

Benefits of Giving Dogs More Freedom

Allowing dogs to make their own choices and express their natural behaviors has numerous benefits:

Improved Mental and Physical Health

When dogs have the freedom to explore, play, and engage in natural behaviors, it provides both mental and physical stimulation. This leads to a healthier, more balanced dog. Engaging in scent work, for instance, can tire a dog out as much as a physical workout.

Increased Confidence

Dogs that are allowed to make choices and solve problems on their own develop greater confidence. This is particularly important for shy or fearful dogs. Providing opportunities for them to succeed and make decisions boosts their self-esteem.

Strengthened Bond

Respecting your dog's choices and understanding their preferences can strengthen the bond between you and your dog. It shows them that you trust and value their opinions, which can enhance the mutual respect and trust in your relationship.

Reduced Behavioral Issues

Many behavioral problems in dogs stem from boredom, frustration, or a lack of mental and physical stimulation. Allowing dogs to express themselves and engage in activities they enjoy can reduce these issues. With all the different dogs and 200+ nights I’ve hosted dogs in the last 10 months, I haven’t had a dog act naughty yet, so there is something to be said about keeping dogs happy.

Conclusion

While it's essential to provide structure and guidance for our dogs, giving them the freedom to make choices and express their natural behaviours is equally important. After all, wouldn't you rather have a dog that’s as happy as a kid in a candy store than one that’s sulking in the corner like they just got scolded for eating your favourite pair of shoes?

By understanding and respecting their preferences, we can create a more balanced and fulfilling life for our furry companions. Think of it as letting your dog have their cake and eat it too—except the cake is a metaphor for their freedom, and the eating part is, well, still probably cake because dogs love treats.

Empowering dogs to make their own decisions leads to happier, healthier, and more confident pets. So, let’s take a step back from being bossy, relax a bit, and enjoy the ride with our four-legged friends. After all, a happy dog means fewer chewed-up slippers and more wagging tails. And who doesn't love that?

~ Carmen, EBDT Chief Happiness Officer